Wife

Growing up, despite my toddler aspirations to be Cinderella, there was never any question that I was going to go college, that I was going to have some kind of a career to support myself, that I was going to work at something I was passionate about, something I wanted to do. So it was strange reading this last section of Women Warrior, where the appropriate goal for the women in the story seemed to be more along the lines of getting married, being a wife, continuing the cycle of traditional gender roles. Of course, Kingston says that all of her brothers and sisters "mad up their minds to major in science or mathematics" (Kingston, 160), hinting that traditional roles were not exactly appealing to them. But throughout the story, there are multiple instances where the ultimate goal for girls is made very clear: to become a wife.

The ultimate goal: getting one of these.

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When Moon Orchid arrives in the US, she is described by Brave Orchid to be soft and useless, someone who felt she "accomplished a great deal by folding towels" (Kingston, 14), a job considered by Brave Orchid to be easy and not very helpful. However, reading this, I realized that Moon Orchid, despite her "softness," was still in a new country full of opportunity. I wanted her to find something here in American she could succeed at. I wanted her to build a new life, to become appreciated and respected for what she could offer. Instead, Brave Orchid, from the very beginning, made it very clear that the only role Moon Orchid could play was that of wife. I did see Moon Orchid as acting a little bit weak, protesting to seeing her husband because she was perfectly "happy [in Brave Orchid's house] with [her] children" (Kingston, 142). I could tell that she wasn't branching out, wasn't really working to find a place for herself in this new American world. However, her reluctance to branch out may have been due partially to the fact that Brave Orchid continually reminded her that he stay in her house was temporary, that soon she would be back in her correct traditional role of wife. In the end, that role was unavailable, and Moon Orchid is so distraught that she basically drives herself crazy, perhaps because she felt there was no place for her in this new world.

Even in the US, where she might have more opportunity, Moon Orchid was expected to be just a wife.

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In Kingston's chapter "A Song for A Barbarian Reed Pipe," we see Kingston being pushed into this role by her mother as well. She speaks of how her mother brought "a series of new workers" to the laundry, and how she was forced to call them "'Elder Brother' though they were not related [to her]" (Kinston, 193). Kingston finally explodes from the pressure of this traditional role she feels is being forces upon her, telling her family she wants them to get "that hulk, that gorilla-ape, to go away" because she refuses to be "[given away] to [a] freak" (Kingston, 201). Interestingly enough, after her explosion, Kingston's mother reminds her that she "didn't say [she] was going to mary [her] off" (Kingston 202). It is at that point that you being to realize how completely the prospect of being married consumed Kingston. Even as she beats up the silent Chinese girl, her insults to her have a lot to do with this subject, as she tells her she is "not the type that gets dates, let alone gets married" (Kingston, 181). It's not that I don't think her mother wasn't trying to marry her off. Though the mom says she was searching for a husband for her sister, she shows Kingston's picture to the suitors, suggesting she wanted Kingston to get married first. However, the fact that Kingston herself shared this obsession is notable because it highlights how incredible it is that she was able to break away from the traditional role expected of her and pursue her own passions in college and beyond.

I was lucky enough to never have the traditional role of wife forced upon me, or even really encouraged. Everyone in my house wanted me to pursue my dreams. I'm so grateful to have had a family that raised me not to fill a traditional role but to follow my passions. Not to say I don't want to get married, or be a mother. It's just nice to know that I can choose where my life goes.