The Girls I've Been

In Siddartha, two kinds of unity are presented. One is the unity that exists between all living things, the unity that allowed Siddartha to "[become] one with her suffering" (Hesse, 106). The other is the unity that exists within the life of one person, the unity between the "rich and elegant Siddartha [that became] an oarman's servant, and the learned Brahmin Siddartha [that became] a ferryman" (Hesse, 99).

I kind of talked about the first one in my last DB, the unity that connected Leo and Cinnamon and Stargirl, as well as Siddartha and the heron and dead jackal he was able to practice sympathetic imagination with while he was traveling as a Samana. Today, however, I'd like to explore the second kind of unity, the unity that exists within the life of every person, in much the same manner: by referring to a children's book.

If you know me at all, your probably aware of my (slightly unhealthy) Canadian obsession. Chris calls me a traiter, but honestly, it's more like I'm a citizen of the world who's found her true love in the beauty of the maple leaf. Anyhow, much of this obsession is thanks to L.M. Montgomery and her prolific, insanely detailed descriptions of Prince Edward Island in her series on Anne Shirley. In case you were wondering, yes, I made my parents take me there, and yes, it is as basically the most beautiful place in the world.

http://parenting.leehansen.com/downloads/clipart/Patriotic/images/maple-leaf.gif

All of the houses on PEI look like that. ALL OF THEM! And look at those beautiful lupins. And that green... and the dirt is seriously this gorgeous red color and the beaches squeak when you shuffle your feet because of some kind of an amazing natural phenomenon and the water is this icy, deep blue AND I WANT TO MOVE THERE IMMEDIATELY!

http://www.hickerphoto.com/data/media/202/prince_edward_island_sc117.jpg

I would love to go into detail about how Anne is my hero and hilarious and yaddayadda, but I won't bore you with the details of my Anne-addiction. I'm just going to go ahead and say EVERYONE SHOULD READ THAT SERIES and move on to how the Anne series relates to Siddartha.

http://a0.vox.com/6a00c22521fa5e8fdb00fae8bb4b80000b-500pi

In Anne of the Island, the third book in the series, Anne is in college and living with some of her friends in a sort of boarding house called Patty's Place. It's owned by a bunch of adorable little old ladies. One of the women, called Aunt Jimsie, is expressing how puzzling she finds the behavior of one of the girls living in the house, and she says "I can't understand her... She isn't like any of the girl I ever knew, or any of the girls I was myself" (Montgomery, 168). Anne asks Aunt Jimsie how many girls she has been, and the elderly lady answers off handedly that she has been "About half a dozen" (Montgomery, 168).

As we grow, we can change into different people.

http://lavistachurchofchrist.org/LVstudies/GrowingUpInTheLord/Girls/MotherMeasuring.gif

I brought this up because I'm trying to make a point that this idea of unified change throughout life, of one person really transforming into many different people, is not a completely unfamiliar one. Are you buying it? You should be. I highly doubt you see yourself as the same person you were in kindergarden. I know I don't. In kindergarden, I used to refuse to wear anything but dresses because I thought pants made me look like a boy.

"Lauren, honey, why don't you wear these nice pink shorts to school today?"
"NO MOM. I LOOK LIKE A BOYYYYYYYY!!!!!"

None of these for me...

http://www.evisu.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/06/heritage-jeans.jpg

You get the picture. But it goes beyond that. I'm not the same person as I was in middle school, either. In fact, I bet I'm not the same person as I was in high school, not after a semester of college. Why do you think people are always writing letters to their former and future selves? Haven't you ever heard that song by Brad Paisley, Letter to Me? Yeah, it's sappy, but it's also a recognition that 17 year old Brad is a lot different from present, older, hopefully more mature Brad.


But these future and past selves are not strangers. Rich Siddartha and ferryman Siddartha, though different people, still share a bond. And the bond isn't the body. I think that the bond is the soul. I mean, would Brad realy be writing such a detailed, affectionate letter to a stranger. NO. Of course not. He has a vested interest in this teenage version of himself because they share the same soul.

I'm fully aware that this notion of sharing the same soul as your past selves is a little bit sentimental. But it's also a beautiful thing, this unity of persons. And it's not just the unity that is beautiful. I think that the human ability to transform ourselves, to mature, to become (hopefully) better, more caring people as we grow older, to gain wisdom through living life, though "it can't be expressed or taught in words" (Hesse, 132), is special. It's miraculous. I would HATE if I was static, unable to move past the first girl I was, back in kindergarden.

I mean, really. Only wearing dresses? Kill me now.