How do differences between us and others (in appearance or otherwise) cause us hesitation helping them?
http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=7053177 (start at 6:21, then start at 3:50)
“The differences in outcomes of both experiments involving the well-dressed woman and the homeless man in particular proves the mind’s power over the heart.” -Helen, on “Aiding the Fallen”
“Whereas one might say, “Aw, poor cousin Etienne, mais he just got him some bad luck,” the same person might. Identifying others as "not like me" allows us to ignore their needs more easily turn around and accuse the outsider of being a loser and a drunk who has squandered all of his opportunities.” -Molly
Do we have a “helping instinct”, and if so how is it squandered? How can we bring it out?
“Often times, people give aid and help for selfish reason: power, greed, and self esteem.” -Jose
“When I see people suffering, my heart immediately goes out to them. I want to ease their pain and somehow be a part of a solution.” -Helen
“Service—helping out at church, joining Student Council, volunteering at the nursing homes. That is the stuff that we complain about, the stuff that seems forced and at times, annoyingly out of the way. Simply helping someone, however, is so natural.” -Emily
“However, just as we too often ignore the emotional intelligence, we also tend to ignore the callings of the heart. Our mind uses these distractions to hack away at our heart’s natural instincts.” -Chris
“I realized how much this was correct as I pondered about how many times I wanted to help someone but reasoned against it. When I hesitate in a logical fashion, I simply can't help someone...Before one can help another, they must physically, mentally and spiritually be capable of helping.” -Sharad
How do we decide how much and who to help, and how does this dilemma add to out hesitation to help in certain situations?
“It never seems to be a question of "if" we should help, but "how much." Often in our society the desire to help those less fortunate is brushed off with claims that the needy are just lazy or need to help themselves.” -Jose
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“It’s uncomfortable to realize that you’re not doing everything you can to help your community, especially to someone like me, whose high-mindedness is secretly undermined by the simple fact that I have been blessed with good fortune my entire life. As I reach for my wallet, the thought of “How much is enough? When to stretch a little further?” (Dass, 9) actually stops me, rather than encouraging me to share at least a little of my good fortune.” -Molly
Does helping others brighten OUR day? Does this make helping selfish?
“Taking the time to care for others or make simple helpful choices like recycling paper not only help others but enrich your own life. We all know the wonderful feeling you after volunteering: I was addicted to it and left each time knowing that those I had helped were really helping me in return.” -Katherine
“I rushed over and assisted [a woman] in stuffing [balloons] into the backseat and then closing the door. Wearily, she turned to me with an appreciative smile and said thank you. I could see the appreciation in her eyes and I could almost feel the change in my mood as I headed into the store. I felt elated and lighter. Happier.” -Emily
“Does that make me selfish that I want to make others feel better? I’m not entirely sure I understand Dass’ whole point of view about that. I mean, surely helping a cancer patient isn’t selfish.” -Emily
How do guilt and fear stop us from helping?
“[Carol] said that there has to be a point when you must force yourself to forget the ethical issues behind every decision you make, that otherwise we would be overwhelmingly overcome, constantly guilty and consumed by the fact that we couldn’t do everything right... She wasn’t being harsh or uncaring or saying that we should forget all or most ethical dilemmas, but purely being practical.” -Katherine
“The way I look at it, I can't control the economic standings of people in other parts of the world, let alone people in this country. Thus, I should never feel too guilty about my own lifestyle so long as it is not excessively luxurious or indulgent.” -Jose
“Ram Dass points out that people instinctively try to alleviate another person’s pain. However, sometimes people suppress this impulse because of their fear – fear of being unable to alleviate their troubles, fear of coming in contact with the pain, and fear that their problems will “spill over into the rest of our lives” (59).” -Jade
“Once while I was walking down the drag, I encountered a man asking people passing by for spare change...As my friend and I came upon him... he singled us out... I couldn’t ignore his plea any longer... I’d like to think that I helped out of the goodness of my heart, but deep down I know that it wasn’t just that. Perhaps I acted in fear and self-protection. Maybe I helped to end the man’s frustration as well as to end my discomfort in the face of poverty.” -Helen
“If we find it hard to look “this man asking for money” in the eye, if we find it hard to look the “Drag Rats” and the blind and those in wheelchairs and the dying, those who we pass on a daily basis, how can we expect to deal with those victims of extreme tragedies in a ready and efficient fashion?” - Maysie
Visit the Haiti Table! (thanks to Maysie for letting me know about this!)
When disaster strikes, you can help.
The Volunteer and Service Learning Center has joined efforts with Student Government and the Student Volunteer Board to gather students, faculty, staff and alumni of The University of Texas at Austin to show how Longhorns can support the people of Haiti in their time of need.
Students will be tabling in the West Mall and on Gregory Plaza from Tuesday, January 19 to Thursday, January 21, handing out materials that provide information on how to give.
On Thursday, January 21, UT will host a Moment of Solidarity from 11:30am-1:30pm on the West Mall. Please join us in supporting the people of Haiti and those in the Longhorn community that have been personally effected by the crisis.
For more information on how you can give, please visit the Volunteer and Service Learning website:
http://www.utexas.edu/diversity/ddce/vslc/vol_spot_haiti.php
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